So, like, Star Wars, right? Big deal. Lots of Stormtroopers in those movies. But did you know there are tons of different kinds of them? Yeah, crazy, I know. From the OG classic ones to the newer Death Troopers, there’s a whole bunch to choose from. Not really sure why this matters, but let’s rank ’em all from best to worst. Gotta stick to the canon trooper variants though, so sorry to all you Radtroopers out there. And no clones or First Order variants either, ’cause that would make this list way too long. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Alright, let’s get to it, shall we?
The OG Stormtroopers, man. The ones that started it all. White armor, classic look. You can’t beat the original, am I right?
Then we got the Death Troopers, all black and spooky. Green lights and weird voices, these guys are definitely cool.
Next up, we got the Snowtroopers, all bundled up for the cold. They showed up in The Empire Strikes Back with their hooded look. Kinda started the whole trooper variant craze, if you ask me.
Scout Troopers are another cool variant. Slimmer armor, different helmet. Snipers and recon-focused, they bring something new to the table.
Shoretroopers from Rogue One are rad. Beige armor that blends into the beach, and a sweet helmet design. Definitely stand out from the crowd.
Mudtroopers, or Swamptroopers, whatever you wanna call ’em. Dark green armor for blending into the mud. Not a bad look.
Then we got the Patrol Troopers, a mix of Snowtroopers and Shoretroopers. Fluffy armor with magnetic boots, they showed up in Solo.
Scout Troopers in black armor, because why not? Stealth-focused units that first appeared in some old Legends comics. Can’t go wrong with black, I guess.
The Flametroopers bring a pop of red to the trooper lineup. Basic Stormtrooper armor with flamethrowers. Seems like a practical addition.
And then we have the Lava Troopers. ‘Cause, you know, lava is definitely a thing in Star Wars. Do we really need troopers for that, though?
Seriously, who thought we needed Magma Troopers too? Imperial bureaucracy at its finest, folks.
Cave Troopers. Cave troopers? Really? I mean, a head-mounted flashlight is cool and all, but in a universe with lightsabers, it seems a bit outdated.
Forest Troopers, or TK Troopers, ’cause someone forgot to give them a proper name. Created after clones but before Stormtroopers, they’re just kinda… there.
Jetpack Troopers, Minigun Troopers, Sniper Troopers. ‘Cause why not give Stormtroopers more stuff to carry around, right?
Riot Troopers with shields, ’cause that’s exciting. Heavy Weapon Troopers with blasters, ’cause why not add another variant to the mix?
Desert Troopers, Dirty Troopers, Oxygen Tank Troopers. ‘Cause every environment needs its own troopers, I guess.
And last but not least, the Patrol Cops. Bottom of the barrel, dealing with the dirty work. ACAB, am I right?
So there you have it, all the trooper variants ranked from best to worst. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like we could do with a few less black armor variants, don’t you think? Just saying.
